Two weeks alcohol free!

Well, here I am, sitting in my office on a Monday morning feeling great!  It really is a pink cloud kind of day.  I have been working non-stop since January 1st, and I admit alcohol was many times my "permission" to shut it down.  I often shut it down when I still had things to do and deadlines to meet.  Alcohol would make me not give two (bleeps) about finishing work, it would put me into I am just going to chill out mode.  Now, I'm getting things done, and I'm not waking up in the middle of the night sweating, stressed out, and hating myself to death.  I would get up in the middle of the night (don't you love how this makes it seem so long ago, its only been two weeks) and use the restroom, and just sit there in the dark praying to a God to help me.  Then I couldn't go back to to sleep.  Now, I don't wake in the middle of the night (for long) trips to the bathroom are still happening, I'm hydrated now, so sorry for the TMI.

Let me say this two weeks hasn't been easy.  I have started and stopped drinking a million and one times before, but making it for two weeks has only happened three times including this one.  How did something so innocent as drinking a glass or two of wine on the weekends turn into drinking a bottle or two (and three) every single day.  My husband would bring home a single bottle of wine on occasion and I would get irate!  Only one bottle, FOR US TO SHARE?  It never worked.  Not only that,  I always ended up ordering more (since I have to pay the delivery fee I might as well stock up for tomorrow too-ha!).  Yes, we know have alcohol and wine delivery in our neighborhood.  Good for keeping people from drunk driving, bad for impulse decisions to drink more.  My alcohol intake went higher knowing that I could order more, and frequently did.  I also convinced myself that ordering for tomorrow too was smart, until I drank that supply on the same night.

One of the most difficult things is about drinking, I could drink two bottles of wine and still read before bed, wake up not feeling terrible, but never see the beauty in anything.  I could say it is a nice day outside, but I didn't feel it inside.  It was as if I was looking at a painting with no real feeling to it.  When I am sober, I can appreciate a good day.  Why don't I remember this stuff when I want to drink?  Well, off to work on a project.  Life is good!